As seen in the accompanying photos, the Regulator Almanac dates to 1890, to carry in the pocket or hang at the fireside.  It begins with this:  “Caution to our patrons.  We have had so many complaints from parties who have imitations of Simmons Liver Regulator palmed off on them that we feel it our duty to warn the public.  The following letter is an example of what is going on:  “I have taken Simmons Liver Regulator and it has helped me wonderful; my wife takes it and is greatly benefited as well.  The other day the druggist was out of it and insisted on me trying someone else’s liver medication, which I did, and it is worthless, a counterfeit.”  Mat Sazlar, Tenn.

“Insist on getting it and take no other. We are only responsible for the preparation bearing our signature on the wrapper.  It has always been and always will be our aim to make Simmons Liver Regulator the standard remedy for all diseases of the stomach and liver.  Best ingredients, strictly vegetable, positive relief for dyspepsia, restlessness, heartburn, sour stomach, constipation, more.” (Can you imagine the general public suffering from dyspepsia — impaired digestion resulting in feeling morose, grouchy; oh, my!) 

The handy pocket book just fits inside the gent’s breast overall pocket, and what a treasure it is.  It contained the following: moon phases, signs of the planets, signs of the zodiac, fixed and moveable festivals, eclipses of the moon and sun, calendars and much more.  Notes on malaria: One of the great sources of evil; produces a great variety of diseases from the ague (chills and fever) to fatal attacks of yellow fever; derangement of the liver is at the basis of many diseases that destroy thousands of lives.  Many remedies have been attempted; aloes and mercurial cathartics have done great harm after exciting the bowels to action.  Among the many resources which medical skills has made available to the sick and debilitated, none rank higher than Simmons Liver Regulator, a comprehensive remedy for liver complaint, dyspepsia, constipation, chills and fever, nervousness, sick headaches, and other ailments related to biliousness.  Being purely vegetable, it relaxes the bowels, purifies the breath.

There is nothing like it for the ladies, as testified by Laura Craig of Florida:  “I’ve taken no other anti-bilious remedy for six years, and know from experience that for the ladies there is no equal.”

“The liver is both the distillery and refinery -- in its many wonderful and dark recesses it carries on the manufacture of bile.  It exerts a most magical effect on every particle of material, which is sent to it from the stomach; it changes the nature of the various foods, turning into blood what is available and sending away for dismissal such poisonous elements that are present.  Simmons Liver Regulator exerts special influence and restores the liver to proper working order; it does its best work. 

“A torpid liver causes many a trouble — nervous exhaustion, sleeplessness, anxiety, worry and that dreadful state of things known as ‘the Blues.’  S.L.R. wakes up a torpid liver and restores it to perfect action.  There is no safer, purer, and more satisfactory medicine in existence.  Physicians use and recommend it as the most cost effective specific for constipation, headache, indigestion, pain in the side, dizziness, sour stomach, poor appetite, bilious attacks, palpitation of the heart, pain in the region of the kidneys, despondency, gloom and forebodings of evil, all of which arise from derangement of the liver.  It has been proven for these ailments in any stages; it has been unequalled when malignant fevers abound.  The roots, leaves and herbs from Simmons Liver Regulator is a wonder, nature planted the antibodies alongside the poisons!

“Don’t you think so?  When your tongue is coated, your breath is bad, your spirits are low and your heart is sad; when your eyes are yellow, your feet are cold, And you feel as if you were a hundred years old; And your skins as rough as a nutmeg grater, Then you need to take Simmons Liver Regulator!”

Presented by H.E. Kalb, Banner Drug Store, Spring Valley, Minn. 

At the Methodist Church Museum on West Courtland, visit the case that abounds with medical paraphernalia such as a full bottle of Watkins liniment plus the prescription boxes from various drug stores down through the years.  You will see the medicine case carried by Dr. Albro, a lady doctor, from 1862, which contains weird and wonderful medications such as Quinine sulfur and opium. Note the medical bag carried by Dr. Thornhill about 1872 to 1912 when he made house calls, and see the portable “table” used by Dr. Julia Handberg, the chiropractor.  Check out the beautiful portrait of Dr. Albert Plummer of Racine done by Dollie Neill.  He was the father of Dr. Henry Plummer of Mayo Clinic fame, who also graduated from Spring Valley High in 1892.  Lots of fascinating things from Spring Valley history to see on the lower level of the museum, which opens next spring — Memorial Day weekend.